The psychologist behind this project has been in private practice 32 years. Every night, couples appear in the office, trying desperately to figure out their relationship–what went wrong, what works, how to make it better, or at least how not to separate or divorce. Over years, patterns emerged, qualities and traits kept surfacing that both saved marriages or destroyed them. The same qualities became visible in all relationships, not just marriages. Daters, roommates, gays, straights, blacks, whites, rich, poor–all of them–have these same challenges.
So, through a long history of clinical observation, a list of the underlying traits that really make a difference gradually emerged. There are the usual good qualities that sustain and enrich relationships but there also surfaced a list of not-so-good qualities that usually led to failed relationships. While not entirely surprising, the same qualities (now formulated in Tier II and Tier III questions) kept coming up. What was surprising, was that the qualities were not necessarily the ones you might expect. And, the behavior of the couples was not what was anticipated when it came to undoing the problems. This last point has been the focus of relationship counseling in the office.
But, what was really of interest was how to escape these painful relationship experiences in the first place. How could someone know ahead of time what was going to work or fail? To approach that, we had to figure out who the players were and how were they constructed. How are people put together, specifically in relation to having a successful relationship? This spawned the concept of High RQ.
Most people have an average RQ. This isn’t an insult. Just like IQ’s, RQ’s span the range from low to high and most people fall somewhere in the middle. High RQ people do better all around–in all relationships. The reverse is true of low RQ people. This project came about to find a way to measure these qualities and produce a number that best reflects the overall degree of relationship skills. This project both attempts to eliminate some of the pain of relationship failure when it does occur, but it also attempts to screen out those who likely would fail at relationships BEFORE they begin. This is why the process so beautifully fits the dating scene, and this is why we’re building a relationship compatibility and later a dating site as soon as we get enough data. This is new material, especially the Tier III measurements.
In sum, and most importantly, this approach will do a much better job at finding compatible partners who are much more likely to succeed in their relationships, based upon what really matters, when it really counts–BEFORE you even meet.
Here’s another link to the survey:
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