How and where did the RQ concept come from?

The RQ concept came from thirty-five years of outpatient couples therapy in a clinical psychologist’s office.     It emerged from the observations of one clinician who noticed the same traits and abilities popping up over and over in both successful and unsuccessful couples.   There were traits that increased the RQ and others that decreased it.   Both groups of traits were consistent.

The traits we “normally” associate with success or failure in relationships are NOT predictive of relationship success or failure.   In dating sites, people are matched using these more superficial qualities.   What kind of restaurant do you frequent?  (Mexican or French?).   What kind of music do you like?  (Blues or Country?).   Do you like blondes or brunettes?   None of these had predictive value.   In fact, using these surface qualities alone to match people failed more than succeeded.   Most dating sites indulge in this superficial pairing.   We don’t.   In business, the screening criteria is about skill sets, but the big complaint from employer and employee alike is personality incompatibility.   Usually, that means one or the other has a lower RQ.    It’s the deeper stuff  that makes or breaks relationships, and measuring that is what the RQ test does.   The RQ test measures the relationship traits that “go the distance.”

Here’s the concept:

The work was to measure the deeper traits individually, and then put them all together into a test that quantifies the scores into a single number.   This is like an IQ that quantifies a large number of intellectual abilities into one number.   The IQ tells you how smart you are by measuring the pieces of intelligence–the many abilities we have, what amount you have of each and the configuration of those abilities.   The RQ is your IQ of relationship skills.  It summarizes your personality and LOTS of parts that make it up, plus LOTS more.   The RQ measures all the relevant, individual pieces of you and then tells you your RQ compared to others.  Unlike the superficial qualities, the RQ is THE best measure of how good you are going to be in a relationship.   It also predicts how well you will fit in with employees.

The RQ test does three unique things.   One, it measures positive personality traits that correlate with raising the RQ.   Two, it assesses negative traits that lower RQ.   And three, it catches liars.   The single biggest complaint about dating sites is “You don’t know who you’re going to get.”    Honest people have higher RQ’s, so we measure that, too.

When the dating site arrives, it will be based on the RQ, not the superficial stuff.   The quality of your match will be above average or higher, by definition.   And, fibbers will not be included.   This saves loads of time and grief.

What are the nuts and bolts?

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